


Words on repeat

by BAPyTurtle



Series: SEVENTEEN One-Shots [5]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Soonhoonfest Round 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-15 06:49:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8046421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BAPyTurtle/pseuds/BAPyTurtle
Summary: The numerous words and phrases that repeat over and over in Soonyoung’s mind.Prompt: No. 36 EXO – First Love





	1. Chapter 1

“That really WAS a great idea!” Jihoon mentioned as they laughed together, repeating the memory that was still fresh in their minds. They soon reached the crossroad to where they part, but they were still joking around that it took a while before they actually bid their farewells after a fun-filled day with their group of friends.

“See ya tomorrow!” Soonyoung yelled out with a wave. The latter softly raised his hand, returning the gesture along with his bidding of goodbye. It made the slightly taller male smile to himself before shifting his feet toward the direction of his home.

He passes by the well-remembered landmark that ensure the correct way back. A bird was chirping as it perched upon the apple tree in front of Mrs. Lee’s home.

 

 

_You look magically beautiful today with your never-changing hairstyle yet ever-transitional colours._

Soonyoung let out a breath just as he saw the neighbourhood’s elderly couple walking their obedient Corgi like they always do before the sun sets. He grinned wide, waving to them and they replied along with sweet smiles, wrinkles emphasising the shape of their eyes.

The male soon came upon his residence, greeting the landlord who was tending to his garden at the time, pulling on the weeds that dared to grow near his prized peonies. He shot his signature smile prior to walking up the stairs.

 

 

_I love listening to your voice, your loud laugh, your serious tone, your attempts at lying, your giggles as you hold back and your honey singing. They are all beautiful._

 

 

He stood in front of Room 15 while fumbling with the house keys, humming to a song he heard very recently at the café where he had lunch with the guys. It reminded him about the food fight that was to happen if it weren’t for their friend scolding them because he didn’t want to be responsible for cleaning up his workplace.

Unlocking the entrance, Soonyoung stepped inside while shaking his shoes off and took his jacket to place on the hooks that were attached to the wall.

 

 

_You are magnificent. Your modesty and kindness make me fall for you. Over and over again._

 

 

He dragged his tired feet to the kitchen, opening the fridge in search for a snack. To his luck, there was leftover kimbap from the night before as well as a can of soda from who knows when.

After tossing his bag to the coffee table, Soonyoung flopped his body onto the couch that conveniently sat in front of his television. Rather than the glowing screen, his eyes stuck to the ceiling, as if reading something on it.

 

 

_You are beautiful._

 

 

He’s practiced saying those three words like a chant. It repeats in his mind every day that he’s said it more than the phrases “I’m hungry,” and “What time is it?”.

It’s funny and sort of weird how he can only get so flustered whenever he’s around Jihoon. All of his confidence disappears once the shorter male appears before him and all the words he wanted to say, melted away from his brain.

Soonyoung’s mind wanders to all the times he’s tried and failed to confess his feelings for his best friend. There were countless things he wanted to say but he had no idea how.

 

He needed help as more failures occurred and more feelings affected his daily life. Soonyoung began asking himself a million questions before going out; what should he wear or where should they hang out. It’s like he should have studied it from the internet.

Memories of their close friendship made the ends of his lips repeatedly rise. When Jihoon had a cold, Soonyoung would quickly get some medicine and if the former was hungry, he would take them out for food.

Basic common knowledge that you could find in a dictionary. But what he really wanted was for the two of them to be each other’s definition in said book.

He remembers his high school self, heading home from school yet took a few minutes for a break at the riverbank. He lay on the bed of clovers, holding up a vivid purple flower. It was lame and childish but he did so anyway; gently plucking the multiple petals while whispering the chant of ‘He likes me. He likes me not.’.

 

One day, he thought enough was enough so, he attempted writing a letter but he realized that it seemed insincere, making him toss the paper into the bin.

What can he even say? What words could he utter to let Jihoon know how he feels? He never found any terms that explains all that was written in his heart. Soonyoung wishes to just take his heart out; copy and paste it to express his true emotions.

His eyelids flutter as he imagines those combined expressions that are sweet and pretty, as if they were taken straight out of a movie script.

It’s the same set of words that he would practice for days and night, through rain and shine, at home and during lectures; whether he had a lot on his mind or nothing at all, Soonyoung could, on no account, stop reciting his compliments.

 

 

The next moment, he opens his eyes to see darkness outside the window and the faint shine of the kitchen light. The clock on the wall ticks to 12.18 a.m.

Soonyoung figures he should rehydrate before retreating to his bedroom. His trudge to the fridge felt long and the time he spent sipping on the warm glass of water felt prolonged.

The glass is on the table with his finger lingering on the edges when he softly bites his lip. “I promise. I’ll tell Jihoon tomorrow. Whatever’s on the tip of my tongue, I’ll say them. For sure.”

 

His night asleep was once again filled with rehearsals of his confession. His heart paced rapidly when he woke up later that morning; it made him jump out of bed to briskly get ready. As their prior routine, Soonyoung would meet up with Jihoon to head to the university campus together.

The male was careful at choosing his clothing as his lips were constantly mouthing lyrical words. The jacket from yesterday completed the look and he laced his sneakers on last.

 

 

Soonyoung skipped out of the apartment; he would’ve raced out, but if he got hurt for leaping over the fence again, he would receive a scolding from the landlord. Locking the door to Room 15, he made his way down the stairs after waving at his next door neighbour.

He whistled to an old song that always gave his strength and a grin slowly appeared when he saw the apple tree, noting him that he was close to the junction.

Upon spotting a familiar head of pastel-coloured hair, Soonyoung’s breath nearly ran out while his heartbeats began to turn erratic.

 

 

Soonyoung clenched his fist and grit his teeth, quickly approaching the latter who has yet to acknowledge his presence. But the moment Jihoon turned around, Soonyoung stopped in his tracks.

“Hey Soonyoung!” The male greeted with a smile, making all the words that he had practiced the night before, melt down and out of his memory. Once more, Soonyoung’s plan turned to a failure.

Though that didn’t stop him from gleaming a smile to his crush as well as best friend, greeting the boy back. Well, he could try again tomorrow.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens, years later.

_You are beautiful. So much, to my eyes._

Those words never stopped repeating in Soonyoung’s mind. It continued to hurt his heart with a ball of regret tossed to his soul. 5 years were added. 5 more years of pain.

All because he chickened out at the last moments.

The length of time that flowed only brought him past university, thankfully landing a job from the first few companies he auditioned at. It’s been his 3rd year as a dance instructor at “Very Nice Studios’ and even then, Soonyoung constantly had meetups with Jihoon who worked around the block at some song composing studio.

Despite a rookie at the company, he gained the most praise for his work. That made Soonyoung smile nonetheless when he witnesses the humble reaction the boy unveils.

He spent all those events with Jihoon yet, he never found the chance for confession. Until today.

 

You could say it was his last opportunity to reveal his love for the shorter male. Even with the bustling sound of people preparing the event in a hurry, Soonyoung couldn’t take his thoughts away from his last attempt. His hand unlocks one of the many doors along the corridor.

“Oh?” A woman exclaimed in surprise. “Was I disturbing?” He carefully asks, still standing at the doorway.

“Not really, Soonyoung. Come in, I just finished hair and makeup,” the woman stated with a gesture; she sat quite elegantly with her hands placed on her lap, a modest light rose dress hugged her body in a way that it didn’t look too tight with a lace veil hanging from a dainty tiara that brought a shine to her appearance.

“Wow. The bride looks amazing~” Soonyoung complimented with singing tone as he sat on a nearby stool. “Oh. Stop. I’m not all that,” she shyly covered her face with a giggle.

 

The two only recently met, but they managed to get along fairly well. “You okay? You seem sad,” the bride stares at the man’s sorrow eyes. He was trying to mask it with his usual joyfulness, but it seems that some have noticed.

Just that morning, Junhui asked what was wrong while they were getting their suits ready. Soonyoung reiterated the same phrase with a forced smile to reassure them, “Sure I am! Who wouldn’t be happy on the day his best friend finally gets married to the love of this life? I’m ecstatic about it!”

They shrugged off his response every time and changed the topic. Right as he gave last minute tips about how to handle the groom to the bride, a knock on the door interrupted them.

“What’s up, Minghao?” He asks when he sees the Chinese boy pop his head in. Minghao mutters, “The groom wants to see you.”

His mood dropped; guess it really was now or never. He waved goodbye to the bride along with a good luck cheer that made her laugh. Once he closed the door, Soonyoung hesitated his steps towards the groom’s changing room. A sigh passed his lips before he began walking.

 

_You are beautiful._

_You are beautiful._

_You are beautiful._

_I really like you, Lee Jihoon._

Soonyoung recited the words over and over again like a chant. His heart pacing just like his feet when he reached the room. He finally grabbed the doorknob as he held breath.

The sight of a suited Jihoon fixing his red tie when Soonyoung opened the door practically shot arrows to his heart, but he quickly got back up with the plan in mind.

“Hey,” he says first to get the other’s attention. The latter stops his tying action.

“Oh, hey.”

They stood silently for a few seconds, Soonyoung too busy recollecting the words to say. “Hey Jihoon. I just wanted to tell you. I-” The moment he brought the courage to speak, the door slammed open to reveal Hansol with the word ‘anxious’ practically written across his forehead.

He spoke in a breathless manner like he ran over, “Jihoon… hyung… Jisoo-hyung… needs help… with… instruments. Now.”

By the last word, the boy fell into a chair in fatigue. “Alright. Guess we’ll have to talk later, Soonyoung,” Jihoon quickly grabbed his jacket and speedily walked out. In an instant, the latter slapped his face, shocking the younger one.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” He could only mumble that he’s fine before moving into the curtain that partitioned the room to two parts once Hansol left for other errands.

 

There, Wonwoo sat in his pink lined black suit and light rose tie, face covered by his right hand. “I call you over to help and you couldn’t even take the chance,” the low toned voice speaks with a sigh.

“It’s not my fault he had to leave all of a sudden,” Soonyoung attempts to defend himself. He’s glad Hansol already left so, he could freely tell his best friend about his crush without any worries.

“You were silent. For FIVE minutes. Yeah, I counted. Hell, I could’ve counted how many times you exhaled,” Wonwoo states as he sat up straight, preparing for another counselling session with the dance instructor.

However, said man kept silent as he slouched in the chair across from him.

“Listen. We made a deal. Your last chance to confess to Jihoon would be on my wedding day or I would ‘help’ announce it over my wedding speech later. You have until the moment we enter the dining hall before I’ll make the move. Now is the time, Soonyoung. Go before you regret it for the rest of your sad solo life,” the groom of the day tries to comfort Soonyoung, but ended up forcefully pushing him out of the room.

“For now, leave me to calm my wedding nerves. See you later, best man.” Soonyoung ended up wandering around the venue yet made it to the front of the hall 10 minutes before the event begun.

 

The confession still stuck on his tongue as said boy stood in front of him with one of the bridesmaids. It was soon the moment he enters with the maid of honour and the wedding begun when Wonwoo and the bride stood to face one another, smiles stuck across their faces.

Every few seconds, Soonyoung’s eyes shifted to glance at Jihoon who quietly stood on his right. There were less than 40 minutes’ left before the groom would give his speech. He had about 20 minutes before that to react, but his mouth wasn’t letting him.

He tried to rehearse the lines and automatically stopped when the newlywed couple were given the moment to kiss. (Wonwoo would probably yell at him for missing the vows, but that didn’t matter.)

 

Soonyoung spot his love walk alone to the dining hall, immediately hearing his friend’s voice reminding him in his mind. With a kick of his heel, he moved forward to stop the surprised boy in his tracks.

“Oh. You wanted to say something?” The shorter male questions, but he doesn’t receive an answer as he’s being dragged away from the group; the groom smirked from a distance as others wondered what had happened.

Once far enough, somewhere near the garden by the hall, Soonyoung froze for a second in front of Jihoon. The latter had a questioning look which made the dance instructor more nervous.

“I… I’ve been wanting to tell you this since years ago…. Lee Jihoon… I… um.. Ireallylikeyou!” Soonyoung finally blurts out as he faces down, continuing his confession while staring at his brown dress shoes.

 

“Ever since we’ve been best friends in high school, I started seeing you more as someone I love rather than just a friend. I tried to confess; in high school, university, during our after work meetups and even just now, I’ve wanted to profess my love for you, but I get scared by how you’ll react. I rehearse what I wanted to say to you for years and all I end up doing is melt in your presence. All I want to say is you are so beautiful to me and I really like-”

 

He stopped. Not because he was anxious again. Instead, he was too shocked by the kiss Jihoon gave on his cheek while slightly tiptoeing. Both grew flustered yet a small smile was seen beneath the blush on their face.

Within the silence of the pastel garden where only two stood between growing moss rosebuds, Soonyoung grinned when he heard the soft voice respond him.

 

_“I really like you too, Kwon Soonyoung.”_

 

His words would continue to repeat, but now with less of a fidgety feeling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moss rosebuds mean confession of love so, hehe


End file.
